Sorry for the silence over here. Things have been rather exhausting the last few weeks with school, soccer, and cub scouts starting. We’re finally under control and just playing the waiting game for this baby that is due in just a few days. She gave us a bit of a scare last week when I woke up having contractions every 3 minutes while my husband was on a plane coming home from New York. I thought for sure I’d be giving birth alone, but then things calmed down and the contractions stopped after about an hour. She’s a tricky one!
Here’s a funny list of questions a friend of mine gave me a couple of months ago. It brought a much needed smile to my face:
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s gender?
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So, what’s your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word ‘alimony’ means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.